What if i told you that this one technique I use will work about 90 percent of the time every time those darn awkward silences come right in?
Now you might be asking yourself, what about that ten percent of times that this approach/technique doesn’t work, then what should I do? Well, don’t worry because i will also share what to do in those moments! But trust me, you might only use the second step a couple times during all you future conversations!
Nick Sparks famous renowned public speaker once wrote brilliantly what most of us feel when that silence sneaks in during conversation. He said ” Letting the silence go can be incredibly nerve wracking when the other person intimidates you, and five seconds can feel like five minutes. You may be afraid the other person will get bored or feel awkward and not want to continue the conversation. In reality, while they’ll certainly feel more tension in the silence, the worst thing you can do is show that it’s too much for you by talking too much or retreating back onto your head.”
Instead, remind yourself that it’s not your sole responsibility to make the conversation happen. Its 50/50!
So what should you do?
Next time you are out and about and this type of situation begins to occur you should immediately use…
Use the Friendly Silent Stare
What is this stare?
It’s a cool, friendly but expectant expression on your face, eyebrows raised, eyes wide and even a slight smile. And you have direct eye contact. Its used as a push to get the other person talking without saying anything! To be effective you must expect to maintain your stare past the point of your own comfort. I don’t mean like a psycho who just stares all creepy but do follow the guidelines!
Guidelines to successfully use the F.S.S
- direct eye contact
- eyebrows raised
- eyes wide
- a slight smile
Hold space for those nervous feelings and embrace them, and look at that person, fully comfortable in the silence. Give this look and wait about 5 to 7 seconds. Now the look you give this person is basically saying……..
“I can’t think of anything to say. I would still like talking with you. What are we going to do about this?”
“Hello, I’m waiting for you, whats next?
This will work because when you give this type of stare the other person will feel that non verbal push and just fill in the space with another type of question, observation or whatever they feel like. Then after they open up again I just smile at them and keep going.
But now what if it doesn’t work? Let me show you step 2!
If after you gave the stare and you waited 5 to 7 seconds and still nothing then the second step is to say something. It’s that simple.
Sometimes after just using the second step the person by that time would have probably warmed up much more in the interaction and just help you make the conversation flow.
But now if the conversation continues to keep stopping and has those silence gaps and you used the F.S.S at least twice and even used step 2 then just find a way to politely leave the conversation.
The problem is not you its them! Maybe they are too nervous, don’t know how to keep a conversation flowing, are not in the talking mood or just dislike you.
Use the technique and awkward silences will be no problem for you anymore.
What did you think. Please leave an awesome comment and I would really appreciate it and if you liked it a lot then please share it with your friends and family. Gracias! Thank you!
Categories: Secrets to conversation