A Police officer when he goes to work carries his weapon. A firefighter wears his helmet when its time to take out a fire. And a person who’s trying to become a conversationalist or just improve their conversation skills should always carry “3 good Conversation Starters”. You can either carry it in your pocket or wallet. What do I mean? Just write three honest but open ended questions that you will be asking the other person. You can always carry them and in any type of situation even an impromptu event you can look at the questions and use them. Now why do I suggest to write them down? I always tell people to write them down and carry with you so you can always remember that you have three valuable commodity’s that you can use. They are there to help and remind you of what you can talk about.
QUICK TIP: Talk about the other person and never try to impress. Use the following three questions to talk about them. People like talking about themselves.
So what are the three simple but great ice breakers?
1. Where are you from?
Why is this question so good? Its so simple to use because we are all from different countries and cultures. And by asking this you are showing interest in the other person. But the best part about this ice breaker is that the other person can go into detail and just keep talking. People have pride from where they are from so they like to share that. Let me give you an example of what people usually do after been asked this question.
Jake: So Lisa, let me ask you a question because I been thinking about it and I cant figure it out.
Lisa: What’s your question?
Jake: Where are you from? I’m guessing Portuguese.
Lisa: Good guess but no I’m not. I was born here in America but I’m from Russia and Lebanon. My mother is from Lebanon and my father from Russia. And because of my mixed family I speak French and Russian. And I also have some Spanish because…………………………….
As you saw Jake hardly spoke. Lisa was doing the talking and she was going into detail of where she was from. This is what this question does. You get them talking about themselves. They will continue to talk for a while because they are having the chance to talk about themselves. Let them impress you. When you let them speak and speak later on they will be telling themselves that you are such a cool likable person. And because you let them talk.
But what if the person really doesn’t go into detail?
Then what you can do is just keep asking. Ill give you an example:
Max: So where are you from Michelle?
Michelle: I’m from Paraguay.
Max: What Part of Paraguay?
Michelle: From Asuncion.
Max: Have you ever been there and if you have would you recommend going?
Michelle: Yes actually I have been there about three times and I’m going to be honest with you I do like going there but I have a couple of issues with going over there.
Max: Really what are those issues?
Michelle: Where do I start? Well fist of all the government is so………………………….
Now in this case Max had to speak a bit more by asking specific questions about where she was from. And it worked because it was all about her and she could give her opinion. And its also a great question because you also get to know more about the person.
So once again great first conversation starter that I always use and you should use it too.
NOW what’s the second conversation starter?
2. What do you like to do in your spare time?
Another Great Conversation Starter? Why?………………………………………………..
This is another powerful question you should be asking becuase it again does it’s job. Its job is to open the gate to conversation with that person. And the reason why its so powerful to use is becuase you are encouraging the other person to give you well thought answers.How so? Just by using this simple question you will begin to have the other person talking about themselves. As thats the little secret. When you begin conversing with new people and you ask a question like this the other individual will not know where to begin. They feel like they are having the chance to tell you about themself. And they really do. Folks like talking about themself and now they have their chance. So when you ask this question they can begin to tell you what are their passions, hobbies and etc. Once they begin explaining their passions what you should do is really pay attention to what they are saying. Do not hear them. Listen to them. Because hearing just means that you know that they are talking but are not really in the moment paying close attention to what they are saying. Then ask them questions about their passiosn and by behaving like this you are demonstrating full interest. And when people see that you have a couriousity or interest in what they are passionate about they will open more with you and like you more better. Again talk about them and you will hear their stories and many times be amazed at what people have done. Do you want good feedback when you are having a conversation? Just take the first step and ask this second question and you will be the hero!!
3. What was your favorite childhood memory?
I love this question. Why you may ask? Again its simple and you get to learn what kind of childhood that person really had. Was their childhood good or terrible? They will tell you what they loved about their childhood. And all you got to do is pay attention and see what they loved about being a kid. You also learn how there parents were and what kind of environment they grew up in. Again you can pick up and learn so much from one easy question.
But the most important thing is that whne you use these questions please pay attention so that you can learn more about that individual and keep the conversation going.
And my question to you guys is what did you guys think about this article? Please leave a comment. Thank you.
(c) 2014 Aurus Sanchez