So what should you do? If you can’t give a compliment then just do a different conversation opener. (As you keep reading more openers will be discussed). But what if you’re in the middle of a conversation and silence rushes in? The conversation was going flawlessly and now silence hit us. What most of us do is panic and just say anything to fill in those gaps. Even I used to do it. Until I learned what to really do in a conversation when awkward silences come. Another Secret!! When that awkward silence comes don’t say anything! Nothing. At first when you try this, it will be torturous. Cause the only thing that’s happening is silence. You guys look at each other and unconformability rises out of the roof.
The inner guards come back up flying swiftly like a bald eagle catching its prey. Do not say anything. And while nothing is being said, just look at her or him and give him the “hello I’m waiting” look. This look you are giving off will make the other person al so keep contributing to the conversation. Because for all of you my readers always have in the back of your head that in a conversation it’s about you and the other person. You should not be in control of 80 percent of the conversation or even 70, 65, 59, 99.NO!!!!!
It should be weighted equally. It’s a 50/50 type of effort. If you feel like you’re talking way too much then it’s because you are. The other guy or girl is not helping you out. So when those gaps do come and they will pop up just like groundhogs coming out of hibernation. You want to give the look of “Hello I’m waiting”. Again, this look forces the other individual to just say something else to keep it going.
You are pressuring them and with your body language you’re just saying “what else do you have to say”. But let’s say that this person just stays shut and says nada. Then what you do is you say something. And you keep the ball rolling but what if it keeps happening? Then you are as a lady or gentleman, you excuse yourself. What should I say?
All you got to do Is leave. “Say excuse me I’m heading to the bathroom” or “it was nice to meet you”. But sometimes it’s too obvious so what I really suggest is for everyone when they can to download “Fake-A-Text-Free” or “Fake Call”.
These simple apps will and can get you out of a lot of awkward conversations. These apps are so god because you can choose the time in which it will be activated and all you got to do is act out the rest. But please don’t overdo it. Like you begin to yell saying that your sister is in labor at North shore hospital and you got to go. Or your boyfriend got hit by a 800 pound truck and still survived. Those stories could be true but at the moment can be kind of far fetch. Now do yourself a favor and download them now while you keep reading. And if you need a break go and get yourself a warm chamomile tea but come back ill be waiting. And while you’re in the kitchen please get me a tea too with two sugars. I would really appreciate it.
The second reason you might fake a compliment is because you are using them. You can use them for different reasons. You might learn that at your nephews graduation party there is Ms.Sanchez who can hook you up with an internship at the publishing company you have been dying to work for. So what do you do? You want to impress that person and one way people do it is by over complementing people.
Once you go up to Ms.sanchez and you tell her how beautiful she looks tonight and how her perfume makes her smell like an angel from heaven. And you keep it going, it’s going to sound suspicious. Ms.Sanchez might say to herself what does she want. And then once you say about your interest in the internship she will finally know your intentions. You used her. Nobody likes being used. Once she realizes what’s going on she will brush you off faster than the speed of light. As a conversationalist we are trying to not be brush off. We don’t want to use people.
As tempting as it sounds it’s a big no no! What you could have done is just be yourself and converse normally and eventually you could ask “What do you do for a living” or say “I heard you work for the publishing company, how is it working at a prestigious place like that?”. You see what I did? I am interested in her and I’m present in the conversation. I eventually ask about her work and at the same time I’m giving a COMPLIMENT without being so obvious. Once again the lesson is not to use people.
Sometimes we try so hard to be liked that we are daring and we do stuff we wouldn’t normally do. Like you might do snorkeling even though you don’t swim just to fit in with your new friends. Or you might pull a prank on a stranger just be looked at with admiration. You see my point being like is very important for us humans. If we are not liked then we tend to think of ourselves as worthless but once people get to admire us we feel super cool and hip. But of course just because a group of people might like you doesn’t mean everyone will.
It’s impossible for everyone to like you. And if some people don’t like you for whatever dumb reason let it be. Your real true friends will always be there for you. But you might at the moment not think too straight and just because you want the high to be liked immediately you throw out a compliment. “Nice Jersey cap, bro”. Or “I love your Prada high heels”. It’s not bad to be liked or you want that but just be careful not to look fake and trust me if you don’t act phony people will sense it. Once they sense it they will be fond of you because of your true persona.
We have learned not to be fake and give off those fake compliments. If we have done it or we continue doing it lets begin to stop that train from doing so. People can sense phoniness and if they do I promise you they will tell other people. Once that happens you will be judged behind your back and even with the best conversation openers you won’t be able to talk to those folks. And when you fail you might think you are a failure but it’s not the case. You just had acted phony before and they told some people and now they see you different in a negative way. So please stop now! You can do it and be honest with your compliments.
But what kind of compliments should I give? Once again the ones that come to your heart. But let me give you guys a list of compliments that men love to hear and women feel fantastic when they hear these compliments.
- You always making me smile!
- You are so handsome.
- You’re the funniest man I’ve ever met.
- You are so handy!
- It’s so nice to see a man who can cook.
- Any lady would be lucky to have you.
- Wow, you really rock that shirt.
- You always give the best advice.
- Geez, girls can’t keep their eyes off of you!
- I love how easy it is to have a conversation with you.
Of course there are way more but according to www.herinterest.com these are some of those compliments that men love. Now the ladies turn.
- That Color Really Suits You.
- You’re really smart.
- You Have Great Taste.
- You Make Me Want to Be a Better Person.
- Your Hair is Gorgeous.
- You’re Attractive Even without Makeup On.
- I Love Your Cooking.
- You Stand Out From Other Women.
- You Look Like You Lost Weight.
- You’re Easy to talk to.
As you can see the compliments change between the sexes but I also want you guy to realize that these compliments are not only used between spouses and people who are going out. These special compliments can be used with anyone in any type of relationship from just being friends to being husband and wife. And interestedly enough the last compliment for each gender is about how good conversationalist they are. So see how important it is to be the Ultimate Fun talkative person in today’s day.
And my question to you guys is what did you guys think about this article? Please leave a comment. Thank you.
(c) 2014 Aurus Sanchez
Categories: Secrets to conversation